weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
