dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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