Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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