you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
