Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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