i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
3 2 1 whiskey
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
