dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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