theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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