The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
