ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am available for nakedness
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
