No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
