I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
