I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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