There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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