Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
