Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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