True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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