she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
