I faked an abortion last night.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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