great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
