I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
