So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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