i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
