Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
