sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
