I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i dont even know how to be here
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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