And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
