did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
