im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
