Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
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