i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
