I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
