It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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