Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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