Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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