Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
