It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
