I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
