I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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