There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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