She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
