awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
