go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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