ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
