you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
