is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
