I CAN MOONWALK!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....