I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
