i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize