Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
