Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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