Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
