oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
