Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
