she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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