Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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