Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
