you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.