Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He better not be in your backpack
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
