So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
