My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
