apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
