just tell him i said nine months
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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