You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
